Fighting

If you remember, my last blog was about workouts and change...

Two days away from the end of the month and I think I managed to do three workouts total this whole month.

It's REALLY hard not to get completely discouraged by this.

But I can't let myself go there. I've got to keep pressing on. This month has been HARD. Learning new things. Going through junk. Getting my creativity back. Working some overtime. Waiting on change...

Friends, hold me accountable. I need to avoid fried foods, soda, and sweets like the plague. And I need to make sure I move every day. I am so tired of where I've been physically, but I can't seem to make the changes I need to make on my own.

This means when I go out to eat with you (and when I go out to eat on my own, of course), I won't be eating french fries, burgers, "crunchy shrimp" sushi (this is a favorite), donuts, tempura chicken of any kind, or any other thing that has been deep fried.

This means my portion sizes have to change - drastically. I've said this before but I get discouraged or I get hormonal and it all seems to go down the drain.

It's not that I don't know how to eat healthy or anything like that. It's that I don't have the confidence in my ability to follow through with it... So often I get on a kick for a couple weeks and then there's a month (or two or three) of nothing but bad habits. And it's worse because I know its bad, and then I just hate that I can't get it right.

I'm done.

It's time for sleep. I'm working both Saturday and Sunday, of my own volition, and Monday is a new month... I'll be making another update sometime next week... maybe not on blogger, but definitely on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram - one or all of those, perhaps.

New month, new beginnings, 30 days to Change

Today I completed this workout from the Tumblr page Back On Pointe. I re-pinned the full workout list (a different workout for each day) a while back, but hadn't really done anything with it yet. Last night, fed up at where I've been physically, I wrote all the workouts out by hand and taped them up on the back of my bedroom door. I can close my door and read the workouts as I do them. This was a good re-start for me. I added in my 12lb SPRI Kettleball during the squats, Russian twists and lunges (I skipped it on the side lunges, though). And let me tell you, "bird dogs" are no joke! About ten in I was like "you mean I've got to do ten more of these?!" It looks so simple - get down on all fours, raise left arm/right leg and then alternate, that's one rep. I did 20 of those suckers. I almost stopped 15 in because I was about to laugh out loud at how deceiving these are!

Anyway, I can't wait to see if I can truly get this into my every day routine. It will mean waking up earlier. Not spending so much time on my phone in a numb state of grogginess when I first wake up, but getting my ass out of bed, getting my workout gear on, and going for it.

Even on Monday.

Especially on Monday...

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me... Including this. 30 days. The month of September is going to be pivotal, it's going to be a month of change. It's going to be a month of making this a habit. This workout thing. It's got to be a lifestyle. I am 27 years old, standing in at 5'7" and weigh 215lbs... I'm tired of hating myself and not being comfortable with myself because of my weight.  I'm tired of feeling tired all the time. I'm tired of the self-pity. It stops here. Changing life habits is not easy... but I can't go on like I'm going and expect anything to be different. This has to happen. It starts now. Because I know what I am made for and it's not what I am now. Like Kim Clement says, God sees you in the future and you look much better than you look right now. Well, I'm gonna draw my future self into the present... She's eager to be known.